Never Again
by LaNaniuska
Summary: She thought that he was in her past, that she was able to move on with her life after him. But when she least expected it he comes back to make her realize that she never really moved on.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own anybody or anything here, just a very active imagination.

**A/N**: This is a little something I decided to post and it's supposed to take place after they come back from Neverland. If you read enjoy and review, it's really motivation to read your thoughts.

XxXxXxXxX

"Noooo. No, no and no."

The dark-haired woman infamously known as The Evil Queen stated in dismay as she frantically shook her head in denial. What she was seeing was really bad; no, it was horrible and she could scarcely believe it. It was almost like watching a really bad movie that had no end and for a long moment where she believed herself to be in shock she could only remain sitting stiffly with her mouth hanging open and her warm brown eyes glued to image portrayed by the magic mirror in front of her.

'_It just can't be true.' _

She was trying to put her mind at ease by repeating that to herself, but the rational part of her brain that was still working knew that there was no way her eyes could be deceiving her. The mirror never lied…

She leaned forward, studying the disturbing image more closely. The man in the image was clearly him; there was no possible way she could mistake him for somebody else, and there was no doubt whatsoever that the woman kissing him was her, Emma… the so called Savior.

And according to the scenery around them, that happened in Neverland?

"You have to be fucking kidding me!" She let the foul words roll out of her mouth in a whisper. Not that it mattered, she was all alone in her bedchambers so there was nobody around to hear her anyway.

Still in shock, she gasped, blinked a couple of times and still the image didn't disappear or changed itself into something less sickening.

'_It can't be true… It just can't!'_

But yet it was, the proof was right in front of her eyes and she was staring at it. Crawling out of her denial phase, Regina ran a hand through her hair while her horrified eyes focused on the mirror.

"This is awful." She said while her mind was all messed up and in turmoil; emotions ranging from denial, anger and dull acceptance fighting their way to be on top. It was like a grieving cycle and if the situation wasn't so tragic she would have laughed about the absurdity of it all.

Tragic… Was it really that tragic? She considered for a moment and made her conclusion. It wasn't only tragic, it was chaotic! Destiny had messed up with the balance of the universe and something horribly wrong could result out of it.

They weren't supposed to happen. Not in this lifetime, not while she lived.

"But what am I supposed to do?" As much as she hated it, Emma and Killian did happen, and as far as she knew they were still happening.

It wasn't supposed to be that way. Emma loved Neal, she has heard the woman say it herself. And Hook… and Hook…

With a grunt of frustration that escaped from the deepest part of her being, Regina slammed the palm of her hand against the mirror, not even caring if the damned thing could break with the forceful impact.

The mirror was the last thing in her mind; he was… he and the image she just saw.

"No… it can't be true." Hit by a wave of determination that she would probably regret later on, she sprung out of the bed and reached for her coat. She was going to find out for herself what was really going on. Oh yes, she was going to find out before the night ended.

XxXxXxX

She was feeling antsy. Back in the sanctuary of her bedroom she had been determined to carry on with this, but now that she was standing right in front of his boat she wasn't so sure anymore.

What if he was with her?

Her heart clenched at the thought of the two of them together in there, not caring about a thing but to give in to one another… loving each other, being careless.

Back in their time careless was a thing she has never been with him. After all she was the Queen and he a Pirate… and the only occasions they had for one another were moments they stole from life itself.

But that has been a long time ago, in another life and it was obvious that the man that was kissing Emma without a care in the world was not the same man she had once loved.

Once…

Shaking her head, Regina put her feet into motion so that she could step into his ship, but before her boot even touched the hard wood she drew it back and turned around. She paced through the long deserted pier some more, her arms folded against her chest to guard her body from the cold of the night.

'_What do I do if I go in and find her in there? And even if she's not in there, what would I say to him?'_

There was also the fact that she had no right to meddle in his affairs, she had lost what little right she had a long time ago when she let him go.

But it wasn't so easy, she cared about him, how could she not care? She had loved him once, and through nights like this he had held her in his arms, loving her too. That in this cruel present she did not have his love could not stop her from caring.

She stopped her pacing and took a deep breath. _'Just go in and improvise, it's not that hard.'_

Shaking her head she re-assumed the pacing. No, she shouldn't care, she really shouldn't. But she did nonetheless, she cared greatly and it bothered her to no end that he was being Emma's rebound.

Ugh, and what could he even see in her? He deserved better than the Charming's offspring, he could do way better. Not that she cared, he was a past episode of her life and he could do as she pleased. Well, actually she did care because sure, she no longer loved him, but when she did, she had loved him with all the power of her being.

There has even been a dark long time when her soul had not been satisfied with the fact of not having him with her; but that was no more and she had since then moved on with her own life. Back to that crucial time when she decided to let him go his absence had been unbearable, at least until she got use to it and learned to live with it… without him.

Sure, some nights when she was lying alone in bed she still thought about him; but nowadays thinking about him wasn't what it used to be. Yes there was melancholy, but because she knew she has done the right thing there were no regrets.

She just… moved on.

Oh it wasn't easy getting there, but with time she managed to deal with it; she casted the curse, after years of a dull existence she got Henry in her life and everything was going good. She tried to find her happy ending through the love of her son… all until Emma came and took it all.

Now true, after so many years apart he came to hide at the back of her head and she rarely thought of him, at least until the day came when he sailed into Storybrooke with her mother.

Seeing him again has been one hell of a surprise and it took her aback, she couldn't lie about it, but after so many years, she realized that they were simply not the same beings that had loved each other with a passion hard to control, they had become strangers and it some way enemies.

How it had saddened her. It still did. In her mind she couldn't understand how it came to be that they had tried to hurt the other one so bad.

Running her hand through her hair, Regina bit hard on her lower lip, realization hitting her hard as a blow to the gut. "What am I doing?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't do it; this could unleash some feelings that would be better off buried deep in her subconscious. She should go back to her house and think of anything but him. Let him screw the entire Storybrooke female population if he wanted to, it was not of her concern.

Determined to put that episode of insanity behind, the former Mayor of the town turned away from his ship and started to make her way back to her car before someone could see her roaming through the piers. But that night she found out that destiny was indeed a bitch, she had not given two steps away from his door when none other than Killian Jones appeared right in front of her.

She wasn't quite sure where he had come from but there he was. Surprise, surprise…

He gazed at her through half closed eyes and she just remained frozen where she stood; there was no point of trying to flee now, she has been caught. For a moment she thought that he was going to keep walking and pretend he hadn't ever see her, but when passed her by he turned and looked at her with query in his eyes.

"Hey-" She said stupidly and as soon as the word left her mouth she wanted to take it back.

"Hey yourself." He responded as he tilted his head to the side, his stunning blue eyes sparkling as he looked down at her.

She could remember now how easy it was to get lost in the depths of those eyes…

He lifted his eyebrows, never taking his eyes away from hers as he probably waited for her to give a good, coherent explanation of why she was stalking his boat.

Feeling the weight of the situation falling on her shoulders, Regina let out a nervous chuckle and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Um… Can we talk?"

He straightened his head and squinted his eyes as if considering her request. "Sure." He responded at last in his heavy accent and turned around so he could walk into his boat. Once in she followed him until they were standing at the dock.

Regina just stood there, her hands buried into the pockets of her coat while watching him watching her.

"Do you want to talk right here or do you want to go inside?"

Regina smiled slightly at him but it felt as a grimace. The truth was that she was feeling awkward; his eyes on her, the familiarity of the moment… it was all kind of surreal. But anyways, now that she was already there she shook out of her trance and walked in.

His room was not much different than the one she had occupied in their journey to Neverland and as he lit a light she noticed that there was no sign of a woman staying here with him. But that didn't mean anything at all, she could arrive anytime now or he could be going over to meet with her soon after. Who knew, but because she didn't want to think about that shrugged and then she took the liberty of sitting at the edge of his bed.

"Spill it out." He said while leaning against the door as she turned her head to look at him. By the look he was giving her he didn't seem pleased to have her invading the privacy of his ship.

She shrugged once again, not sure if she should just ask him. By right she should be back at her own room and she just didn't know how to proceed by now. "So how are you?" Lame but it was the only thing that sprung into her mind.

"I'm doing good… thank you…" He replied, furrowing his brow as he quirked his lips in a half grin. "You?"

Nodding, Regina tilted her head to the side and without taking her eyes from him she licked her lips. "I'm good."

He arched an eyebrow. "Go figure, it seems like we are both doing good." He smiled and for some unknown reason she felt her heart skipping a beat with the intensity of his eyes on her and the sight of that smile.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that he had that effect on her; after all, ever since the first day she saw him she found herself oddly drawn to him. What was amazing was that he still possessed the power of messing up her entire world with just one smile.

Killian Jones… damn him to hell.

Biting hard on her lips, Regina held her head up high and held his gaze with hers, wondering what was he thinking in that moment.

There has been a time when she could know what he was thinking by just looking into those hypnotic eyes of his. Back then they wouldn't need words to communicate with each other, a single touch could be enough to demonstrate their love, and with just one look they could talk poems if they wanted to. But those days were gone and she could no longer decipher his eyes.

"But you didn't come here to know how I was doing."

"I didn't." She confessed. It could be that she no longer knew his eyes but it seemed like he still knew hers so there was no point on circling on the matter. "What's going on with you and Emma?"

Hook chuckled. "I see that my Queen is bold as always." He scratched his chin, considering his words carefully. "But I don't see how that concerns you, love."

"Everything that happens in this town concerns me, especially if it affects my son in some way and dear, you and her being together affects him."

Hook walked towards her; he walked very slowly and with something resembling a bemused expression on his face. When he got to her, he bent down a little so he could look into her eyes. "You know, if I didn't know you any better I would say that you are jealous, is that it?"

The black-haired snickered. "Oh please!" She rolled her eyes a little too overdramatically and getting in full haughty mode she flipped at her hair. "She's not even half the woman I am so don't be ridiculous, ugh." After saying that, she stood from the bed in a hurry. She decided that the conversation was not going to lead anywhere so she was leaving. It had been a stupid mistake to go there in the first place.

She mumbled something of the sort to him but in her haste to leave she could barely remember what she said or if he even heard her.

But then, when she was reaching the door he grabbed her by the arm and made her turn around, making her face him. His semblance was somber as he looked down on her and she tried in vain to sneak out of his hold.

"What are you doing, let me go."

"Why did you come here?" His tone was calm and eerie, and as she stared up into his eyes she couldn't help but to remember that other tone that he had and the low undertones of his voice as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

Trying to look indifferent, she opened her mouth to speak her answer, but as it turned out she did not have any good one. "I don't know." She confessed in defeat. "Maybe because I care about you and I don't know, I… I just don't want to see you hurt and she will do just that. She doesn't love you." She sighed before she could go on with her ramble. The truth was that she had come to him because she had once loved him, maybe she still did.

This time he was the one who snickered. "She will hurt me… really? Well that's funny, because as far as I know, I would say that no woman can hurt me more than what you hurt me."

Regina actually flinched at that. She had indeed hurt him and hurting him was like hurting herself. It had honestly been the most difficult decision she had ever made in her life. "I had to do what was best for both of us…" And she thought she did. "I was… I am too damaged, I have a lot of baggage and a lot of anger inside of me and you knew that. For heaven's sake I used you to kill my own mother and the curse I was going to cast… I didn't want to drag you down with me."

Killian tightened his grip on her. "You knew damn well that I would have followed you to the end of the world in a heartbeat if you asked me to. Gods, Regina, I was crazy about you and you knew that. I would have done anything for you."

At his words, Regina chuckled bitterly, shaking her head while her jaw tensed. "That's why you betrayed me, you didn't do what I told you to do in Wonderland and look the mess that made." Her voice cracked a bit, just the sightless but she was sure that he noticed.

"You are right… I didn't kill your mother; but can you really blame for that? For once, I couldn't go through with it and second, she offered me something I couldn't just refuse. I did the same thing you did, I choose vengeance over love… and that's something I've been regretting ever since."

Taking a deep breath to calm down, Regina blinked a couple of times and casted her eyes down. What Hook said was the truth but she didn't want to admit it.

For a moment none of them said anything, and feeling his eyes piercing her, she held her breath when he finally let go of her arm with a bitter chuckle. "Whatever, I'm not going to fight for a lost cause, just forget about me and let me live my life as I please."

Swallowing hard down and downing all her pride, Regina blinked her eyes a few times. "I wish I could do that, I just don't know if I can."

Hook squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the left. She still knew him a bit and she could tell that he was trying to find the truth in her eyes.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" He asked in a somber low tone but his eyes had a certain glint that she couldn't quite place. Hope? Or maybe it was her own hope reflected into his eyes.

Regina just shrugged, her eyes set on his.

"You know what?" Hook said as he let his body fall in a sitting position at the corner of the bed, a blank expression on his face. "This is all messed up, when did we become so messed up?"

She walked up to him and sat at his side, letting her hand find his to take it in. With her thumb she caressed his skin, drawing clumsy circles along her way. It felt good to touch him if only this lightly, it felt right.

"Right from the beginning." She said with a sigh. From the moment she first saw him she knew she was doomed and once he confessed that he felt something very similar when he lay his eyes on her.

Love at first sight? No, after Daniel she didn't believe in such crap so she liked to say it has been like a fatal attraction; and yeah, as much as she tried not to fall for it she did, she fell into temptation and consequentially she fell in love with him.

With his shoulder brushing against hers, Hook entwined his finger with hers and for a peaceful moment the two of them remained in silence, lost in memories of long ago that wanted to resurface.

It was crazy, but having him so close and feeling his hand engulfing hers made her realize something; she knew right there the truth that she had been denying to herself for so long. She loved him, she will love him till the day she died and then in eternity she will keep on loving him.

"There's nothing between me and Emma; we kissed in Neverland… but it was just a onetime thing only." His voice was lost in the silence of the room and it took her a moment to register its meaning.

"Did you want it to be more than a one-time thing?"

"I thought I did; but I think I was just enamored of the idea of loving again." He shrugged.

"So you wanted to fall in love with her?" She asked, feeling the pangs of jealousy consume her inside out. "Killian, she's no good for you and she will never love you because she is in love with somebody else. She will just use you until she decides to forgive Neal for good."

"Are you sure you are not jealous? Because you are getting kind of green and love, that color doesn't suit you."

Grunting, Regina yanked her hand away from his and hid her face with both her hands as she doubled over. "I shouldn't have come here, I knew I shouldn't have." She whimpered, feeling frustration hit her full force.

"And why did you?" Hook asked as he grabbed her shoulders to make her sit straight.

"I don't know!" She spat, fixing her eyes on his.

"And what do you know?"

After his question, Regina took a moment to think it over. Then, she took a deep breath and swallowed on dry. She was glad that Hook wasn't with Emma like she thought but for some reason their talk still left a bitter taste in her mouth. "I know that I cared about you, that's why I did what I did; and I know that I loved you… I um, I think I still do."

As soon as her words were out, Hook leaned into her and kissed her, his lips warm and soft against hers; just like she remembered but maybe even sweeter. But he didn't linger for long; it was just a soft probing kiss that ended too soon.

"You think you love me… well, I know I never stopped loving you so it's obvious that we still have a discrepancy here. Not that it matters, love or no love I moved on and I'm focusing on where I want to go from here instead of getting stuck in the past."

"Killian…" She began to say but he cut her up by pressing one finger to her lips.

"So, if I satisfied your curiosity for the night I think it's better if you leave."

Regina nodded, she knew when a quiet exit was needed and she was about to make one in that same moment. Oh, but it wasn't because she was lacking on things to say; no, she actually had a lot to say. But she was also feeling confused about how their conversation turned out and she needed to organize her thoughts first. She was going to do that in the solitude of her house and then she would see what to do.

So with that in mind, she got up from the bed and walked to the door.

"Oh, and Regina-" At the sound of his voice she turned around, finding his eyes immediately with hers. He was smiling and she found his smile to be endearing and full of promises. Who knew, maybe there was still hope for them, they just needed time. "There's no comparison… between you two, and I say that in your favor."

"I know…" She stopped her words there and looked down. Yes, in her mind she knew that she had to think about everything before doing anything, but because she thought it was needed and because she was sure of what she was feeling, she lifted her head and smiled back at him. "And by the way Jones, I do love you."

"I know." He said with a confident smile and responding with a smile of her own she turned around and left. This time she left happy because she was sure that it was not going to be for good.

**XxXxXxX**

So there may be another chapter to this, depends on my time to write it and all that, it probably will so let's see.


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